Why am I so worry about attending a wedding ceremony???

A friend of mine is going to get marry next month and I am invited to attend the wedding ceremony. Yet ridiculously and ironically, such a wonderful event seems bringing me more worries than happiness. I know that it's not my wedding and my attendance actually doesn't mean anything to the couples, but still, thinking about all the steps everyone has to go through over the year brings me an almost unbearable pressure. I don't appreciate those traditional courtesy and ceremony at all. Put it in a extreme way, I scorn it.

Is there anything wrong with my brain? I think I am kinda mentally sick and need to see a doctor for something called emotional disorder before large event. If I have money I will.

My perception of social norms and traditional values seems quite different from most of my friends even though we brought up in a more or less the same social settings and received similar education. What make me so different and therefore so isolated and thus so abandoned?

Sometimes I think people holds similar values as mine are the most poorest group in the world. In most cases, those people don't have to worry about physical problem such as poverty, but equally poor enough is that they will never get mentally stabilized. The group of people might never be accepted by the society as their world view is almost the opposite of the majority group in the society.

Perhaps, this group of people should not exist in the world.

The relationship between happiness and wealth.

Lately I realized one important truth from a live case of a friend, that is, being wealthy doesn't mean being happy. It seems quite true and many cases can be found in real lives.

Nevertheless, I still hold the belief that being wealthy has more advantages to be happy, especially if your family is rich. Anyway, the very central element to become a happy person lies very much on the person herself/himself. And of course, we have to know how and what can make ourselves content about your current status in the first place.

Unlike other big "issues" such as marriage in life, you can try it out yourself and get divorce and marry another person again, if you like. There is no rehearsal for life, you gotta know how to live your life without regret.

I agree with Greek philosophers somehow as they uphold the faith that the highest goal in life is happiness. Regarding the meaning of happiness, I believe it varies from person to person though.

Anyway, I still believe, if you are wealthy, you have more advantage to be happy.

Weather is the excuse

The change of weather doesn't mean change of temperature and humidity alone, it also changes my emotions and as a result of my feelings toward every picture passes me by every moment.

Spring comes and then goes by before I realized it as days go by without a trace. Watching TV is the most obvious evidence of watching time goes away. I truly understand the reason why TV is called idiot box. I should throw it down from my window of 14th floor.

"If you are idle, don't be solitary; if you are solitary, don't be idle." I ever treat this my motto. But these two symptoms seem ever stick together on me. How can I not be solitary anyway.

I think I have written excuses today. I can blame it on the weather and then scoff at myself ridiculously.

想起你的張國榮

若不是知你, 我也不知張國榮
若不是你喜歡張國榮, 我也不會在放張國榮的歌
若不是想起張國榮, 我也不會在這刻 想起你
但你不是張國榮, 張國榮也不是你
但我想起張國榮, 我又想起了你
你喜歡的張國榮
像我喜歡的你
都是過去了的過去