Fate, destiny and the natural.....

I was such a positive person who believed that my future could be created by my own hands 20 years ago. Time has shaped me so much and I am now such a poor descendent who just want to flow destiny's natural flow. It's not hard to believe that everyone is only a cog of natural mechanism sometimes. We are alive for a reason that is chosen by something powerful before we know our own existence.

cold and got a cold

I must be a wild cat in my previous life. We are still so alike even now.

I woke up in another bed again a few days ago. Drifted from Dublin to a town 45 mins away called Ashbourne since 10th Jan. Got a waitersing job trying out now but never know what's going on tomorrow.

All I know now is that I caught a cold yesterday and am feeling ..... welll..... I actually lost some feelings and senses ...... so not feeling as usual......I can't write a complete sentence now

Dublin 2nd Time

It's my 2nd time staying in Dublin. Last time was my first arrival in May 2012, it was summer. This time I arrived on 3rd Jan 20123, its winter. Things and scenes don't look a lot difference, its only the shorter day light that makes you feel the day is not long enough for doing everything. These few days I feel a bit tired and my heart aches a bit. It was probably that I didn't rest enough in the hostel and smoked too much offered by the chef in the last month. So I took a rest a the hostel just all sort of boring things such as cooking, online and reading.

There are a lot of job posts on the Chinese forum 0086 everyday. I called 2 and tried one on Sunday. The tried one might have failed and the other one is still due to try this Friday for 2 weeks. I try not to rush and just chill out a bit in the hostel. I don't like rushing as my heart can't stand it although I still like to start a new job as son as possible.

I am not sure if it's just because I didn't have enough sleep or I am really getting old, I feel tired easily these days. My heart is so weak and it must be 10 years older than my actual age I guess. I feel like I don't have time for everything sometimes. I could just have a heart attack and gone forever. That is seriously possible and I know myself better than anyone else.