Leaving Auckland

Heading Te Puke this afternoon. Will try out the Naked Buss this afternoon to get to Te Puke. Hope will get a job there. Frui tpicking or packing, I won't care. My roommate left this morning for Rotorau and down to Wellington then to East Cost in Australia. This is a nice German girl hopw will see her later.

I am alive in Sydney

I am fine and staying at my friend's place in Sydney. Sydney is still as beautiful as 4 years ago. I checked out the city and visited some friends in the last few days. Time flies, I only have 2 days left. I tired to do as much as I can in the rest of time in Sydney. I will go for Auckland this Wednesday morning and keep moving on till I find a job. I am so glad that I have so many friends here in Sydney and they are all so nice to me. This week is completely blessed. They road ahead is surely a lot tougher cox I will be on myself all the way. Anyway, that's the way I should go for now.

It happens sometimes ...

when the night comes down my window
the fear in my heart grows wider
tonight I am defected
I lost my reason to deal with my internal devil
helplessness and emptiness attact me in the dark
i hurt so badly
i am dumped in an universe surounded by nothing
i am a baby who can just cry

我是一個逃兵

無疑
我不是一個勇者
在沙士的時候我逃離香港
在海嘯的年份我又準備逃亡
走似乎是面對困難的上計
然而，可以留下的又怎會選擇走
可成勇者的，誰又願做千夫所指的逃兵
更何況，逃也可以為了那遙遠理想

You don't have to believe it

because it is a fact already
you will see more
they lay right there in front of you
you will hear more
they will play right at your back

but you won't see me anymore
until you truely realize it is a fact not a fiction

I like giving you surprises

I enjoyed to see the unwanted surprises with fake smiles which you showed on your faces today
I will give you some more soon
Thanks for the unbelieving and unwilling congratulations, too
I knew that that's a sign of push which encourages me to go further and jump higher
What a pity you don't realize how well you've done

You can lose everything in life

but not the essence of your style
that defines you are the distinctive one
that could be a little crazy,
but knowing it's rational is fine enough to carry on

有些東西只能獨享

從前很天真的會把自己愛聽的歌，好看的書像什麼好東西般推介給人
又一股傻勁似的希望別人可以與我分甘同味，
把一些我忽略了的視聽流行介紹給我
然而，這天真的傻勁換來的往往是莫名的失望
今天，時間終於讓我明白了，原來taste這東西只能隨緣，不能強求
你喜歡的別人未必欣賞，別人所好的我又不一定有同樣體會
人各有好，因此有些東西也只能獨享
所以今天我聽我的歌，看我看的書
獨享我獨享的獨享

The best mistake

If that's a mistake that I going to make again,
I only wish that's the best mistake I would have ever made
If that's the cry that I would be going through in the exotic city without a wiping tissue
I only wish I would have cried loud enough to unleash all the buried sighs

一步一驚險，得失寸心知

也許樣我這樣平凡的人談不上什麼驚險。
我活多一天又有何喜，少了一天又有何悲; 我得意又如何，失業又如何。
所以過多的顧慮應是庸人自擾。

反正我任何行動的結果都跟所有人無關。
反正我就是這樣的遺世獨立不可一世。
相聚與離別又有何分別?

這一切都是我自己跟自己玩樂的遊戲，
只是我有時太投入了，才有那一步一驚險的感覺。
遊戲可以隨時從頭開始，輸贏也只有寸心知。
有什麼不可以笑傲江湖?!

A Letter to Sailormoon

I have been thinking if my cat can read .... I am actually believing, she can, at least she can conceive something in her own way.....she can read in that particular way

Dearest Sailormoon,

I am over 80% sure that I am going to leave you for a year very soon. As I siad many times that it isn't an easy decision, but I gotta go and you gotta stay. You won't know how I want to take you all along with me, but we both know it's not allowed.

Someone will you give you food and clean water everyday. I just worry if they will clean the mess you left in that pinky little box soon enough. You know that ou do your weewee very well, but sometime you don't do your poo good enough. Remember, it is a tiny box and if you stand all your four legs on the border of one side when you do poopoo, the box will be turned over as the weight is too concentraded on the one edge. I helped you and endured the awful smell of your poo many times, but from then on, I won't be able to do so. So you gotta learn to stand firm when you poo as I will stand strong when I am alone. Don't make mess as no one will clear it for you immediately after I have gone.

You don't have to worry if I would still love you as much as I use to when I come back. You cats have the distinct quality that we human don't have. You know what it is? That is ..... you never have winkles, your apperance don't have big difference and you always look almost the same.... See, how great it is to be a cat!

So you gotta be good Sailormoon and I will miss you.

Love,

V.

Shanghai Trip (27/1-3/2)

Shanghai City
YHA, Shangshai
YHA, Shangshai, (family of 4)

YHA, Shangshai, (family of 4)

Stomach aches

my stomach hardly aches,
it aches only on those moments that I am attacked by myself

the body is such a damned being, it could attack itself without giving warning to the self

i tried to protect myself, but those things around me just stimulate my senses and memories and that in turn attack myself

my stomach aches hardly lately

when the sun begins to set

when the sun begins to set i hang my clothes on the balcony
it's not that i intend to hang the wet clothes at this late, it just my best time to do this in the sunday afternoon

i got a plan for my sunday, it's also plan for achieving nothing but a reset for a new week

anyhow, i should keep this motto and mark it firmly in every single cell of my body: if you are solitary, don't be lazy, if you are lazy don't be solitary