Realizing in searching....

I found myself again when I intended to find something. And in another minute, I realized another thing too.
If you don't search the meaning of life, you would end up like most of the people whom only have exististed but not lived.

no more hiding, I'm gotta shine

All the years I have been trying to hide myself from all sorts of events, occasions, people, ceremonies, gathering etc. I have been trying to live a tranquil and peaceful life where I can devote my energy on something I like. But everywhere I go, there is always all kind of dramas going on around me. Looking back, I realised that have never accomplished what I have chased for. I more I tried to live a quiet life, the more mess occurs around me. I doubt I have done were against the nature and had gone a long wrong way.

Maybe I should try to shine, but not to hide.........

no title

Have been sick for 3 weeks, I finally feeling almost recovered today. In bed with my drowsy head and foggy mind, those days I wonder if would just die in the middle of sleep and somehow wake in another world. But I didn't die. How said was I to perceive that I am in the same hell?

I realized that medicine is not just good for my body, but also nice to my brain. It decreases your feeling to everything, food become tasteless, sadness and happiness are no longer the two opposed emotions, everything has lost it exact means to me. Sleep in the only thing ever I wanted.

It's just nasty to find out I am still in the shit after a flu-drug-hangover...........damn