It's a little past 6pm on 26th December in Ireland. After a really quiet Christmas day yesterday, people are popping up in the street and the parking area of the bar nearby has already full when I look out the window from my little apartment. Irish people just can't stand another day home without party and so going to a pub seems the only choice left in this small village.
I had a cup of coffee in the morning, a can of red bull 3 hours later and then a cup of tea after my late lunch at about half past three. Obviously too much caffeine for today. I am a bit hyper but find difficulty at concentration. I don't think I would be able to sleep early tonight although I have been trying to adjust my clock. Maybe my target should set at finishing the book "The Devil in the Red Dress".
Most people much be talking about the year end discount. Some could get crazy, specially some material Chinese. I like to get out of this village for a few hours in the crowd but crazy buying is never my character.
Thursday, 27 December 2012
Wednesday, 26 December 2012
Merry Christmas
Like some stupid norms prevailing among many old fashioned people, some still thinks that being alone during Christmas is very "poor". So they choose go to spend their time with people they barely know in a restaurant or a bar just to drink, sing or so just to let the time passes in crowded. They believe this is what a Christmas to be "like". This is what the Chinese people I know in Ireland has done for their Christmas. In fact, they have no idea what Christmas means for Christianity or Irish culture. They wouldn't even care or would ever pay attention to it. Most of them, not to offence, live only for money, money is all they had in their heads. They are mostly brain-washed by the Communists education, but at the same time bond by some traditional stupid Chinese cultures, for example, a man should have at lest a house and car in order to get a "good" wife. So most illegal Chinese men works very hard. They have some kind of skills with their hands, but not much thing in their heads. So I chose to chose to spend my time in Campile with myself at least I can do some reading and get myself organized for my next station, despite the chief's strong invitation.
Honest, if I can make a wish for my Christmas, I wish I can meet some great people and I can learn some useful things from them in Ireland. I don't really like too much contact with the stupid.
Honest, if I can make a wish for my Christmas, I wish I can meet some great people and I can learn some useful things from them in Ireland. I don't really like too much contact with the stupid.
Monday, 24 December 2012
I guess I am still a lucky one in the deep shit
It has become the biggest news in this small village now. Everybody knows and everybody lays their eyes on me when I walk out the street since we are the only two Chinese here. I never wanted to stand out in the crowd but I do in some occasions unavoidably. I remember how everyone stared at me when I went to a restaurant by myself which was full of local couples, families and friends last time. I might have shocked them when I ordered my meal in English instead of pointing my index finger at the picture in the menu and then enjoyed it completely and left with some tips. I guess there is nothing wrong eating alone in a restaurant, right? Anyway, the attention that I have this time here is never the one I wanted.
The police has gone, shop has closed and so..... it's done as the owner of the restaurant Patrick put it. It has actually finished on 21st of December, the doomsday. If you have read the newspaper clip that I sent you last time, you should know that the raids have been planned months ago. The Gardai then took action country wide simultaneously on 19th December. No wonder they didn't bother questioning me and only record my identity. The police has even got their targeted figures the day after. Okay, now it seems that Irish are not stupid, despite all the rumours. It's also said on the paper that six out of eight caught are Asian. Reading sentence like this really makes me feel ashamed to be a Chinese sometimes. And knowing nasty and stupid people like Sky who only paid 250 euro a week for growing the cannabis plant even disgusts me.
Believe or not, I wasn't very scared or terrified when the police come that night. I used to think that the boss rent the restaurant downstairs and someone else lived upstairs so what I worried about was if there was a predator or murder because that's the thing that would really cause danger to my safety as I work til very late every night. The police refused to confide anything in the beginning and so I just did my usual work, that is, talking orders from customers. Awhile later, the owner of the restaurant Patrick came and told me that they found a lot of cash and some cannabis upstairs. Knowing this news, I was shocked but not frightened because I still didn't seem that it was that close to me at that moment. I didn't know it at all and I didn't involve it at all so I couldn't have any emotion of worry or guilty. Besides, the police didn't question me to much or seem going arrest me. They only questioned about the chief and I did the translation. So shock was the feeling I have had. I realized now that it could cause me a lot of trouble of course. I could be put into jail for years if it happens in some countries. I haven't been sensitive enough. I am just not the kind who has a lot of preparation and calculation for others.
The story has almost come to the end by now. There is not evident but it doesn't need a genius to figure it out that the chief knows the owner is doing something illegal upstairs. He just didn't bother to find out more. Like most illegal immigrants, they only live within the Chinese circle and all they want is work and money. Sky is a weird guy from the very beginning. The Malaysian guy told me he works for the boss as a construction builder. He had one or two meals with us within my 8 working days there. Patrick told he was arrested at the night, probably at the scene. For just 250 euro a week that he got himself in prison for up to 5 years, Sky is the most stupid guy I ever met so for.
Not to offence the Irish police, but I don't think they find the cannabis planthouse themselves. I reckon someone reported the crime long time ago. It could be Patrick or any of the neighbours but surely wouldn't be the chief or the girl who introduced me the job (both of them are staying illegally). No one would admit it anyway. I remember Patrick once said to me: 'I started to become suspicious that why you guys (me and the chief) are living there while he (the boss) rent the whole building from me.' It is strange that we are put away to live in an apartment 500 meters away while the upstairs of the restaurant is actually a very nice living place with 2 to 3 bedrooms. Now it's very clear that it's a place for the plants and they are more valuable than us.
The girl who introduced me the job finds the guy Sky and the boss suspicious, but couldn't tell what exactly was going on. She once told me that she wonder if they were doing something illegal such as growing cannabis. I didn't never really pay attention to her words. I wasn't alert enough. I know now that things that might not have any relation to you could harm you in other way. In some extreme cases, I can be in real deep shit even I am totally innocent. I don't blame her though. She should not have any intention to put me in such a situation.
I wish I can be smarter (although it doesn't seem to be likely) or there is a formula that I can tell which one is an asshole in the beginning. Anyhow, I guess I am still a lucky one in the deep shit. Now I really had a Christmas holiday and it is a long one. I got nothing, there is totally nothing to do here. Well, but if you know me well, you would know I always have something (better than working) to do to entertain myself.
Merry Christmas guys!
Cheers,
Vanessa
The police has gone, shop has closed and so..... it's done as the owner of the restaurant Patrick put it. It has actually finished on 21st of December, the doomsday. If you have read the newspaper clip that I sent you last time, you should know that the raids have been planned months ago. The Gardai then took action country wide simultaneously on 19th December. No wonder they didn't bother questioning me and only record my identity. The police has even got their targeted figures the day after. Okay, now it seems that Irish are not stupid, despite all the rumours. It's also said on the paper that six out of eight caught are Asian. Reading sentence like this really makes me feel ashamed to be a Chinese sometimes. And knowing nasty and stupid people like Sky who only paid 250 euro a week for growing the cannabis plant even disgusts me.
Believe or not, I wasn't very scared or terrified when the police come that night. I used to think that the boss rent the restaurant downstairs and someone else lived upstairs so what I worried about was if there was a predator or murder because that's the thing that would really cause danger to my safety as I work til very late every night. The police refused to confide anything in the beginning and so I just did my usual work, that is, talking orders from customers. Awhile later, the owner of the restaurant Patrick came and told me that they found a lot of cash and some cannabis upstairs. Knowing this news, I was shocked but not frightened because I still didn't seem that it was that close to me at that moment. I didn't know it at all and I didn't involve it at all so I couldn't have any emotion of worry or guilty. Besides, the police didn't question me to much or seem going arrest me. They only questioned about the chief and I did the translation. So shock was the feeling I have had. I realized now that it could cause me a lot of trouble of course. I could be put into jail for years if it happens in some countries. I haven't been sensitive enough. I am just not the kind who has a lot of preparation and calculation for others.
The story has almost come to the end by now. There is not evident but it doesn't need a genius to figure it out that the chief knows the owner is doing something illegal upstairs. He just didn't bother to find out more. Like most illegal immigrants, they only live within the Chinese circle and all they want is work and money. Sky is a weird guy from the very beginning. The Malaysian guy told me he works for the boss as a construction builder. He had one or two meals with us within my 8 working days there. Patrick told he was arrested at the night, probably at the scene. For just 250 euro a week that he got himself in prison for up to 5 years, Sky is the most stupid guy I ever met so for.
Not to offence the Irish police, but I don't think they find the cannabis planthouse themselves. I reckon someone reported the crime long time ago. It could be Patrick or any of the neighbours but surely wouldn't be the chief or the girl who introduced me the job (both of them are staying illegally). No one would admit it anyway. I remember Patrick once said to me: 'I started to become suspicious that why you guys (me and the chief) are living there while he (the boss) rent the whole building from me.' It is strange that we are put away to live in an apartment 500 meters away while the upstairs of the restaurant is actually a very nice living place with 2 to 3 bedrooms. Now it's very clear that it's a place for the plants and they are more valuable than us.
The girl who introduced me the job finds the guy Sky and the boss suspicious, but couldn't tell what exactly was going on. She once told me that she wonder if they were doing something illegal such as growing cannabis. I didn't never really pay attention to her words. I wasn't alert enough. I know now that things that might not have any relation to you could harm you in other way. In some extreme cases, I can be in real deep shit even I am totally innocent. I don't blame her though. She should not have any intention to put me in such a situation.
I wish I can be smarter (although it doesn't seem to be likely) or there is a formula that I can tell which one is an asshole in the beginning. Anyhow, I guess I am still a lucky one in the deep shit. Now I really had a Christmas holiday and it is a long one. I got nothing, there is totally nothing to do here. Well, but if you know me well, you would know I always have something (better than working) to do to entertain myself.
Merry Christmas guys!
Cheers,
Vanessa
Friday, 21 December 2012
My life in Ireland....in some kind of shitty time.....
Dear friends,
I hope this email finds you well. I am writing to tell you something happening around me these few days here in Ireland, in a small town called Campile. The news I am telling you might not be pleasant and please be calm when you are reading it.
As told you guys and you might still remember that I worked in a Chinese hair salon as a receptionist in a town called Athlone right after my arrival . I finished that job on the 2nd of December and took a week off and rest in the that town until 7th December. Then I took a 5 hour journey come down to this town called Campile to work in a Chinese takeaway. This new job was introduced my a girl who worked in the hair salon before I took over her position 6 months ago. She then found this Chinese takeaway and worked here until I come down to took over her position again. In short she pass over the job to me again and I started working here from 10th of December until yesterday, 8 days altogether. That's pretty much my life in Ireland and if you are following you might find me really lazy that I never look for a job myself and just take over somebody's left over. Yes, I admit, I was even thinking that I can finally take a little rest since this job is really easy and I have a lot of free time to do some readings and practise some drawings. But life never goes easy on me and now I am jobless and in some kind of deep shit.....
Last night, when I was nearly closing down the shop, at about 10:15pm, Gardai, the Irish police force come down and found the Cannabis, also known as marijuana planting room right over the roof of the Chinese takeaway shop which worth over 800,000 euro. Needless to say, the shop of course has to close and I am in some kind of trouble too as the police starts to investigate and we, those who work downstairs cannot just walk out without being questioned.
There are only two people working in the Chinese takeaway, the receptions that is me an the chief. I report to the chief and he pays me. The business is not that good and still not making profit. The owner or boss is not here and I have never seen him/her. The chief deals with the owner and manage all the takeaway operations. There is also a guy known as Sky, who came to the restaurant for dinner with us who claims himself as a builder works for the restaurant owner. As far as I know and from the information told by Patrick, the landlord of the restaurant, it is another Chinese guy who is renting the ground floor restaurant and upstairs apartment from him. Therefore that Chinese guy who must own the drugs and running the restaurant downstairs is just to cover up the illegal cannabis planting upstairs. I met the landlord of the restaurant Patrick again today and he told me that the police has caught Sky, the guy who claims himself as a builder for the restaurant of the owner who was actually helping the planting the Cannabis there. He would be put into jail up to 5 years. The real owner of the restaurant and the drugs is of course still in the run as the way of most movies' plots go. Now, you can tell that I am absolutely in some kind of holy deep shit.
I have some doubts at the moment would like to consider your comments and advices. Below are the information for your consideration.
1. When the police asked the Chief the name of the restaurant owner the Chief claims he didn't know and that really made the police angry last night. The chief gave a name and number but it didn't seem to be working. The chief doesn't speak much English and is an illegal immigrant. The police knows that.
2. The girl who introduced me this job seems know something about the drugs, but I am not very sure.
3. The police didn't take the chief to the station for further investigation until now. We were free to go home that night. I found that's weird.
4. Patrick, the landlord of the restaurant said that we can still open the takeaway for a few days and take away the money from the til after tomorrow when the police are gone. Is that legal?
5. Patrick the, the landlord of the restaurant said the police has been watching this takeaway since two months ago.
6. The police didn't ask me too many things.
I can't thinking of any points now. I haven't been writing for a long time so this email might be a but mess. I am sorry that you have to read this unpleasant story before Christmas. Ignore it or reply me, I don't mind either way. I think I am fine and still alive so far, so don't worry about me.
Hopefully it's not the end of the world tomorrow.
Cheers,
Vanessa
I hope this email finds you well. I am writing to tell you something happening around me these few days here in Ireland, in a small town called Campile. The news I am telling you might not be pleasant and please be calm when you are reading it.
As told you guys and you might still remember that I worked in a Chinese hair salon as a receptionist in a town called Athlone right after my arrival . I finished that job on the 2nd of December and took a week off and rest in the that town until 7th December. Then I took a 5 hour journey come down to this town called Campile to work in a Chinese takeaway. This new job was introduced my a girl who worked in the hair salon before I took over her position 6 months ago. She then found this Chinese takeaway and worked here until I come down to took over her position again. In short she pass over the job to me again and I started working here from 10th of December until yesterday, 8 days altogether. That's pretty much my life in Ireland and if you are following you might find me really lazy that I never look for a job myself and just take over somebody's left over. Yes, I admit, I was even thinking that I can finally take a little rest since this job is really easy and I have a lot of free time to do some readings and practise some drawings. But life never goes easy on me and now I am jobless and in some kind of deep shit.....
Last night, when I was nearly closing down the shop, at about 10:15pm, Gardai, the Irish police force come down and found the Cannabis, also known as marijuana planting room right over the roof of the Chinese takeaway shop which worth over 800,000 euro. Needless to say, the shop of course has to close and I am in some kind of trouble too as the police starts to investigate and we, those who work downstairs cannot just walk out without being questioned.
There are only two people working in the Chinese takeaway, the receptions that is me an the chief. I report to the chief and he pays me. The business is not that good and still not making profit. The owner or boss is not here and I have never seen him/her. The chief deals with the owner and manage all the takeaway operations. There is also a guy known as Sky, who came to the restaurant for dinner with us who claims himself as a builder works for the restaurant owner. As far as I know and from the information told by Patrick, the landlord of the restaurant, it is another Chinese guy who is renting the ground floor restaurant and upstairs apartment from him. Therefore that Chinese guy who must own the drugs and running the restaurant downstairs is just to cover up the illegal cannabis planting upstairs. I met the landlord of the restaurant Patrick again today and he told me that the police has caught Sky, the guy who claims himself as a builder for the restaurant of the owner who was actually helping the planting the Cannabis there. He would be put into jail up to 5 years. The real owner of the restaurant and the drugs is of course still in the run as the way of most movies' plots go. Now, you can tell that I am absolutely in some kind of holy deep shit.
I have some doubts at the moment would like to consider your comments and advices. Below are the information for your consideration.
1. When the police asked the Chief the name of the restaurant owner the Chief claims he didn't know and that really made the police angry last night. The chief gave a name and number but it didn't seem to be working. The chief doesn't speak much English and is an illegal immigrant. The police knows that.
2. The girl who introduced me this job seems know something about the drugs, but I am not very sure.
3. The police didn't take the chief to the station for further investigation until now. We were free to go home that night. I found that's weird.
4. Patrick, the landlord of the restaurant said that we can still open the takeaway for a few days and take away the money from the til after tomorrow when the police are gone. Is that legal?
5. Patrick the, the landlord of the restaurant said the police has been watching this takeaway since two months ago.
6. The police didn't ask me too many things.
I can't thinking of any points now. I haven't been writing for a long time so this email might be a but mess. I am sorry that you have to read this unpleasant story before Christmas. Ignore it or reply me, I don't mind either way. I think I am fine and still alive so far, so don't worry about me.
Hopefully it's not the end of the world tomorrow.
Cheers,
Vanessa
Thursday, 20 December 2012
Deep Shit
You might say 'deep shit' a lot but you might not really mean it and seriously in that. But today I realised that this could really happen to you before you know what's going on before and after.
I planned to stay at this job and using the free time to practise drawing for the coming 6 months and move on travelling around Europe later. But before I can really start my practise, this load of deep shit poured on the place that I am working now all in a sudden. Tonight, at about quarter past 10, the grada/police come and asked something about the place upstairs. I told them we didn't know anything about upstairs since we never saw anyone goes up and we didn't have access to upstairs. What I concern about was that if some psychos or killers or predators around here in this small town who might cause any danger to my safety. I didn't think it was serious at all and was complaining that they were affecting our closing time until one of police told me that there were a lot of drugs and 1/3 million of cash upstairs. Then, I realise the chief and I were truly in deep shit.
The police has took over the takeaway but they allowed us to go home. One of the police was really angry when the chief could not provide the name of the takeaway owner. It was not normal that the chief, in charge of the takeaway/restaurant didn't know the owner's name and contact. I understand it doesn't make sense at all. This is also the reason why I always complaint about the way Chinese do their business, you just never know who is the real boss. But for a packpacker like me who only works for travel money wouldn't care too much as long as I am paid on time. I know that most Chinese owned restaurants or takeaways never ask employee's identifications. They never show their identities to the employee too of course. It was very weird to me when I first come down to this county. Only after a few months, I realised that most of Chinese are illegal immigrates. And to my surprise there are so many of them and they work opening in many shops or restaurants. What's even more terrible is that the police wouldn't check and they just let them walk away even they know that they don't possess valid visa.
I don't know what going on tomorrow. It doesn't look good anyway. I guess I would to move too. The change seems the only thing that ever lasts. When will I settle down?!
I planned to stay at this job and using the free time to practise drawing for the coming 6 months and move on travelling around Europe later. But before I can really start my practise, this load of deep shit poured on the place that I am working now all in a sudden. Tonight, at about quarter past 10, the grada/police come and asked something about the place upstairs. I told them we didn't know anything about upstairs since we never saw anyone goes up and we didn't have access to upstairs. What I concern about was that if some psychos or killers or predators around here in this small town who might cause any danger to my safety. I didn't think it was serious at all and was complaining that they were affecting our closing time until one of police told me that there were a lot of drugs and 1/3 million of cash upstairs. Then, I realise the chief and I were truly in deep shit.
The police has took over the takeaway but they allowed us to go home. One of the police was really angry when the chief could not provide the name of the takeaway owner. It was not normal that the chief, in charge of the takeaway/restaurant didn't know the owner's name and contact. I understand it doesn't make sense at all. This is also the reason why I always complaint about the way Chinese do their business, you just never know who is the real boss. But for a packpacker like me who only works for travel money wouldn't care too much as long as I am paid on time. I know that most Chinese owned restaurants or takeaways never ask employee's identifications. They never show their identities to the employee too of course. It was very weird to me when I first come down to this county. Only after a few months, I realised that most of Chinese are illegal immigrates. And to my surprise there are so many of them and they work opening in many shops or restaurants. What's even more terrible is that the police wouldn't check and they just let them walk away even they know that they don't possess valid visa.
I don't know what going on tomorrow. It doesn't look good anyway. I guess I would to move too. The change seems the only thing that ever lasts. When will I settle down?!
D...ed days
Struck by depression 2 days ago. I felt really bad. Couldn't stop my thoughts and emotions going all the ways to negativity. Self-hatred went ever deeper. Days like those were more desperate than doom.
Sunday, 9 December 2012
2nd day in Campile
This is my second day in Campile, Ireland. I woke up in the morning and checked out this small village that only consists of one single street. Some scatter houses, two small supermarkets, a pharmacy and a few local stores is all it has. Walking in the street, I feel like I am the only Chinese in this little town and am a wired animal. Interesting, there is still a lot for me to discover though.
Monday, 26 November 2012
New job confirmed
Today is the shifting point of my life in Ireland. My new job seems been confirmed and so my whole lifestyle will so then be changed once I start that job. Although my mind has been trying to imagine and adapt the new way of life weeks ago, my physical body would never start working before I actually live the life. It's never comfortable to leave your comfort zoom and lead a new life in a totally different environment, but this kind of nomadic life has long become my inescapable fate. For better or worse, I have to move on and see as much as possible in my short life.
Nothing is perfect and you can't be happy and satisfied every single moment at work, but I am still grateful to have this job, especially for having it not long after my arrival. Surely I have to thank Sherly, my first accountable friend in Ireland for introducing my this new coming job. There are of course a lot uncertainties ahead, some worries are therefore unavoidable.
Nothing is perfect and you can't be happy and satisfied every single moment at work, but I am still grateful to have this job, especially for having it not long after my arrival. Surely I have to thank Sherly, my first accountable friend in Ireland for introducing my this new coming job. There are of course a lot uncertainties ahead, some worries are therefore unavoidable.
Wednesday, 14 November 2012
Lies
The National Employment Rights Authority (NERA) is working to secure better compliance with employment rights legislation through the provision of information and inspection service. NERA Inspectors called to you premises today with a view to carrying out an employment rights compliance inspection.
This is their duty and they carry it out by inspecting the shops. TianDu Hair Studio was called on 20 Sep,2012, Thursday. Receiving a note requested to provide all the employees' name, address, tax record, working schedule, payslip, etc. for their second visit in 7 days. They were all frightened of course, deceiving all the Irish bodies, escaping tax, and all the wrong doings....how could they have no trace of panic?! But then why should they have any worries, they know what they have been doing were totally against Irish laws. Lies can't lie underground for forever.
Today, 13 Nov, 2012 they have arranged the inspectors from the authority to come to the shop for inspection again. Mark, Sing and me are rescheduled to avoid seeing the inspector. I am fine in any case but I am not necessary to be there as the owner will be doing my position and more importantly, to tackles the inspectors. So only Fiona, William, a guy brought from Dublin, and Vina, the boss or the boss' wife are working today. I didn't witness the process and the "amazing play of lies" went on as I am off but was told by Fiona that things have gone through "okay". Although it wouldn't bother me whatever the result (got caught or through) is, I am still interested to know. Its a drama of my 6 months life in Athlone in a sense. Somehow I feel like missed something important today.
Anyway, the point of the entry does not lies how dramatic it is and how I am amused by their panics, but the how sad that all the wrong doings of Asians or Chinese are winning in this so called Catholic country. What's more frightening though, was the fear that I have to be one of them if I plan to stay in Europe in the next 10 years.
This is their duty and they carry it out by inspecting the shops. TianDu Hair Studio was called on 20 Sep,2012, Thursday. Receiving a note requested to provide all the employees' name, address, tax record, working schedule, payslip, etc. for their second visit in 7 days. They were all frightened of course, deceiving all the Irish bodies, escaping tax, and all the wrong doings....how could they have no trace of panic?! But then why should they have any worries, they know what they have been doing were totally against Irish laws. Lies can't lie underground for forever.
Today, 13 Nov, 2012 they have arranged the inspectors from the authority to come to the shop for inspection again. Mark, Sing and me are rescheduled to avoid seeing the inspector. I am fine in any case but I am not necessary to be there as the owner will be doing my position and more importantly, to tackles the inspectors. So only Fiona, William, a guy brought from Dublin, and Vina, the boss or the boss' wife are working today. I didn't witness the process and the "amazing play of lies" went on as I am off but was told by Fiona that things have gone through "okay". Although it wouldn't bother me whatever the result (got caught or through) is, I am still interested to know. Its a drama of my 6 months life in Athlone in a sense. Somehow I feel like missed something important today.
Anyway, the point of the entry does not lies how dramatic it is and how I am amused by their panics, but the how sad that all the wrong doings of Asians or Chinese are winning in this so called Catholic country. What's more frightening though, was the fear that I have to be one of them if I plan to stay in Europe in the next 10 years.
Sunday, 30 September 2012
None
You can't wait for one thing to end to start another thing, especially for the spiritual progress of one's self development.
First entry in Ireland
So much has happened, moved on and erased in my 4-moths life in Ireland. It's the mid-Autumn festival tomorrow this year and I believe if it's not the season, it must be the moon that draws me to start writing my blog again. The moon is nearly full tonight, shinning brightly above the River Shannon of the town Athlone where I am currently staying now.
You can use a simple term to conclude my current status and life as a whole: shampoo girl. Not hard to guess and imagine what I do everyday. Looking back, it's been 4 months since I started working in the TianDu hair Salon. I am employed as a receptionist although my main duty is washing customers' hair. Our customers are mainly Irish people. Every Chinese students from the AIT college is our customer too. With the cheap price and extra massage service, I believe this is the busiest salon in the town.
Working in such a busy salon, the pace of life goes faster than ever. Another week is going to end without a hint of finishing.
You can use a simple term to conclude my current status and life as a whole: shampoo girl. Not hard to guess and imagine what I do everyday. Looking back, it's been 4 months since I started working in the TianDu hair Salon. I am employed as a receptionist although my main duty is washing customers' hair. Our customers are mainly Irish people. Every Chinese students from the AIT college is our customer too. With the cheap price and extra massage service, I believe this is the busiest salon in the town.
Working in such a busy salon, the pace of life goes faster than ever. Another week is going to end without a hint of finishing.
Friday, 4 May 2012
Monday, 30 April 2012
People change, things change, move on with it.
On Sunday, 14 August 2005 10:57 AM, my friend C proof read my CV with the following comments.
"Hi gurl!
i've changed the layout of your resume to make it neat and organized. your cover letter was well-written so there are just some minor changes i made. good luck to your job search. stay happy and healthy ^.^" from her hotmail to my yahoo.
Today she saw my CV and said it's a crap. I told her that it was advised by her many years ago but she said she has never seen my CV. She would not advise on a rubbish like this.
Thanks for the advanced technology though, I am able to trace back the mail with the exact working she has written, that is listed above.
Comparably speeking, today's CV is so much richer than the old one but there aren't much change in the format.
This entry is not to complaint about my friend C. I have to thank her forever sincerely. This is to remind myself that everything changes. I should really move on with the trend. The one that was once praised could be regarded as rubbish.
"Hi gurl!
i've changed the layout of your resume to make it neat and organized. your cover letter was well-written so there are just some minor changes i made. good luck to your job search. stay happy and healthy ^.^" from her hotmail to my yahoo.
Today she saw my CV and said it's a crap. I told her that it was advised by her many years ago but she said she has never seen my CV. She would not advise on a rubbish like this.
Thanks for the advanced technology though, I am able to trace back the mail with the exact working she has written, that is listed above.
Comparably speeking, today's CV is so much richer than the old one but there aren't much change in the format.
This entry is not to complaint about my friend C. I have to thank her forever sincerely. This is to remind myself that everything changes. I should really move on with the trend. The one that was once praised could be regarded as rubbish.
Thursday, 26 April 2012
累
真的好累, 在港的每一天。也許是我沒有福份, 命裡沒有安排我一日可享清福。
回港後沒有幾天, 所住的大樓就開始翻新工程, 從早上九時到下午六時並沒有停止燥音的一刻。住頂樓那層, 就更慘, 工人們把所有的工程都送往天台做, 所以更嘈雜得要命。工人們不但每天大聲呼叫, 而且每個呼叫都帶有粗言。晚上隔壁無良屋主的狗又會在深夜發出嘈音。大廈對著大馬路, 又噪又多灰塵, 每晚睡覺, 我只能開一小點窗, 用耳塞把耳朵塞住才能免強睡。醒來後, 每天都很累, 鼻敏感沒有好過。
離開家差不多三年, 住的都是六人房居多, 沒有私人空間, 回到香港真的好想在自己的牀上好好的睡一覺, 沒想到命運並沒有這個安排。六個月來,我只有幾天能自然醒的, 其他的日子都是被嘈的。完來睡一覺對我來說是這麼的難。我現在擔心的已不再是今生了, 我想我這一輩子是沒有福份睡好覺的了, 我只想死後可以找個安寧的地方長眠。
終於, 我決定要走了, 再一次離開。彷彿永遠在錯誤的時間和空間裡追逐。
我真的好累。 這種累不但是身體上的累, 而且是心靈上的累, 沒有人能理解的累, 寫出也沒有意義的累。
回港後沒有幾天, 所住的大樓就開始翻新工程, 從早上九時到下午六時並沒有停止燥音的一刻。住頂樓那層, 就更慘, 工人們把所有的工程都送往天台做, 所以更嘈雜得要命。工人們不但每天大聲呼叫, 而且每個呼叫都帶有粗言。晚上隔壁無良屋主的狗又會在深夜發出嘈音。大廈對著大馬路, 又噪又多灰塵, 每晚睡覺, 我只能開一小點窗, 用耳塞把耳朵塞住才能免強睡。醒來後, 每天都很累, 鼻敏感沒有好過。
離開家差不多三年, 住的都是六人房居多, 沒有私人空間, 回到香港真的好想在自己的牀上好好的睡一覺, 沒想到命運並沒有這個安排。六個月來,我只有幾天能自然醒的, 其他的日子都是被嘈的。完來睡一覺對我來說是這麼的難。我現在擔心的已不再是今生了, 我想我這一輩子是沒有福份睡好覺的了, 我只想死後可以找個安寧的地方長眠。
終於, 我決定要走了, 再一次離開。彷彿永遠在錯誤的時間和空間裡追逐。
我真的好累。 這種累不但是身體上的累, 而且是心靈上的累, 沒有人能理解的累, 寫出也沒有意義的累。
Thursday, 19 April 2012
Tuesday, 3 April 2012
Trust me, no one wanted a home as much as I did.
Trust me, no one wanted a home as much as I did.
I was so looking forward to my own little private room in HK after two and half year's long journey. I thought I could enjoy being myself a little time before joining this busy working environment. I thought I could sleep through the night and wake up in the late afternoon and skipping breakfast and lunch. I thought I could get a job and start my moving out plan with the hope of getting a little flat. I thought I could start all over again and throw myself into this cold social setting. I though I could manage. I though I had the will. I thought there was hope. I though it's all alright. I thought.............
Now I realized that I didn't think enough and my thoughts were too naive.
I was so looking forward to my own little private room in HK after two and half year's long journey. I thought I could enjoy being myself a little time before joining this busy working environment. I thought I could sleep through the night and wake up in the late afternoon and skipping breakfast and lunch. I thought I could get a job and start my moving out plan with the hope of getting a little flat. I thought I could start all over again and throw myself into this cold social setting. I though I could manage. I though I had the will. I thought there was hope. I though it's all alright. I thought.............
Now I realized that I didn't think enough and my thoughts were too naive.
Sunday, 25 March 2012
Friday, 23 March 2012
In Xanga, Wednesday, October 10, 2007
In Xanga, Wednesday, October 10, 2007, I wrote:
前路汒汒忙前路
渦心懮懮憂心渦
一聲長嘆嘆聲長
何時何日何從向
前路汒汒忙前路
渦心懮懮憂心渦
一聲長嘆嘆聲長
何時何日何從向
書非書
書非書
且不要拿起, 把雙手插袋也好
也不可念, 將口香糖留在齒格也行
更不需閱讀, 眼睛閉起就是
在這裡繞一圈, 你就在看書
千年前卷起的詩編
成了萬後掛起的壁畫
有人為未來鬼魂寫詩
有鬼為後現代的失魂作詞
都不許寫在書上
只許在時間的無間裡流浪
任空間把扭曲的靈位搖晃
在字和紙已分居的年代
也且把視線搬移到
油漆; 燈光; 細沙
油漆; 燈光; 細沙
和鹽粒去
放眼放在矇矓及多面的虛像上
用感覺去閱讀
傾聽在心內朗誦的鏗鏘
看完的書才叫擁有
但也叫失去
撕下的數頁叫作最愛
但也叫唾棄
燒掉的一頁叫作消化
但也叫鐘愛
放開了手的才是佔有
但成了灰燼的佔有才是完整的私有
且不要再撫摸那無浪的平面
叫指尖遊走在盛裝的書壘
跨越那層疊的書樓
行過崎嶇的千行
才是走進真正的寶藏
才是走進真正的寶藏
在書不再是書的歲月
的流沙中
的流沙中
且不要執意你以往對書的少年的
無恨的
戀想
無恨的
戀想
解開書的衣襟
也放開你對書的固禁
沒有字
沒有型
才有靈
後記:今天在08年的檔案中看到。 應該最後於2008年9月8日完成。
Sunday, 18 March 2012
Tai Po with Alice H
Every minute passes by, and all we need is something to look forward to.
I went to Tai Po to see Alice Ho who has just came back from Australian. She has spent 11 months there and traveled more places of OZ than I did. We once meet in Sydney last year when she was passing. She has actually stayed couple of dates in the house I was renting. Alice is a fast decision maker who makes her mind up sharply. Now she is thinking whether to get the Oz 2nd work visa or not. Uneasy decision to make.
The New Territories is really more spacious than HK Island. You can look much further there, your sight can reach far ends. I quite like it. It the flat price is cheaper, I will definitely move to there. Unfortunately, everything I saw tells me that I still can't afford it here or anywhere. Still need to hold on.
I went to Tai Po to see Alice Ho who has just came back from Australian. She has spent 11 months there and traveled more places of OZ than I did. We once meet in Sydney last year when she was passing. She has actually stayed couple of dates in the house I was renting. Alice is a fast decision maker who makes her mind up sharply. Now she is thinking whether to get the Oz 2nd work visa or not. Uneasy decision to make.
The New Territories is really more spacious than HK Island. You can look much further there, your sight can reach far ends. I quite like it. It the flat price is cheaper, I will definitely move to there. Unfortunately, everything I saw tells me that I still can't afford it here or anywhere. Still need to hold on.
Thursday, 15 March 2012
Home and sense of home
Wanted to stay at home so much, just to lay down and rest.............but everything else is casting me out, out to the street. Where will I find a place to stay? Do I have to wait till I lie in the coffin, done underneath the earth, where everything is buried?
Monday, 27 February 2012
Tranquility
I am now sitting in the central library again, enjoying the tranquility which i can never obtain in my home. The girl next to me has sneezed for more than 30 times in half an hour. It must be the influenza flu season in between the wet and cold weather in the end of February.
I like going to the library especially the central library when I unable to stand the noise at my home. The library is not only large but also comfortable with wide views where you can look over to the Victoria Harbor to the Kowloon side. Most of all, I need the quiet environment to whatever I needed to do in a day. I found physical peace in the library.
The kind of silence that I missed most is the outdoor one-the tranquility in the vast and empty wild environment. It is the total peace in thought and body. I reckon you won't find the sort of tranquility anywhere in Hong Kong, unfortunately. It's so noisy everywhere. I totally understand why everyone's ears are plugged with earphones.
I like going to the library especially the central library when I unable to stand the noise at my home. The library is not only large but also comfortable with wide views where you can look over to the Victoria Harbor to the Kowloon side. Most of all, I need the quiet environment to whatever I needed to do in a day. I found physical peace in the library.
The kind of silence that I missed most is the outdoor one-the tranquility in the vast and empty wild environment. It is the total peace in thought and body. I reckon you won't find the sort of tranquility anywhere in Hong Kong, unfortunately. It's so noisy everywhere. I totally understand why everyone's ears are plugged with earphones.
Sunday, 26 February 2012
free but less meaningful days
Today is another general Sunday. I knew very that writing or reading are better than watching TV or listening to the music. But sometime everybody needs a break to doing something meaningless to kill time.
I have been living jobless days for almost 5 months since last October. I am pretty free most of the times although I have some duties to do sometimes. Time still passes by in an amazing way everyday. Some days I wonder if the judgement day is coming down soon as usual. I had some interviews and through that I had to the chances to see different sorts of people, or interviewers to be more specific. There are really huge differences among each of individuals and I am glad I was able to see them. They have absolutely broaden by horizon and I realize that I will be able to find a senior or boss who I will be appreciated to work with/for.
There were lessons I have learned too, some in thought-provoking way while others in harsh manners. I thank that anyway.
I have been living jobless days for almost 5 months since last October. I am pretty free most of the times although I have some duties to do sometimes. Time still passes by in an amazing way everyday. Some days I wonder if the judgement day is coming down soon as usual. I had some interviews and through that I had to the chances to see different sorts of people, or interviewers to be more specific. There are really huge differences among each of individuals and I am glad I was able to see them. They have absolutely broaden by horizon and I realize that I will be able to find a senior or boss who I will be appreciated to work with/for.
There were lessons I have learned too, some in thought-provoking way while others in harsh manners. I thank that anyway.
Sunday, 12 February 2012
2012人生真理哲言（短句）：
1、品格不由你占有的东西决定,而是由你匮乏的东西塑造的。
2、过分为己，是为自私自利。完全舍我，也是亏待了一个生灵。
3、说走就走，是人生最华美的奢侈，也是最灿烂的自由。
4、青春是一场大雨，即使感冒了，还盼望回头再淋它一次。
5、每个人虽然都只能活一次，但在別人心里卻可以死好几次。——朱德庸
6、风可以吹起一大张白纸，却无法吹走一只蝴蝶，因为生命的力量在于不顺从。
7、该不该放弃？会问出这个问题就说明我们还没死心，就说明还应该努力一下??.
8、人生真理：你所知道的不要全说，你所听到的不要全信。
9、我们觉得不快乐，是因为我们追求的不是幸福，而是比别人幸福。
10、如果你将工作等同于生活，那么你将为工作而生活。
11、别和往事过不去，因为它已经过去;别和现实过不去，因为你还要过下去。
12、上天不给我的，无论我十指怎样紧扣，仍然走漏；给我的，无论过去我怎么失手，都会拥有。
13、人生真理哲言：沉溺于过去的痛苦是最大的痛苦来源。
14、生活有时就像超级马利，走一段，跳一段，更多的时候是不断的闯关。没有回头路。
15、美丽是属于自信者的，从容是属于有备者的，奇迹是属于执著者的，成功是属于顽强者的。
16、好好保护自己的自我，因为通常会谋殺自我的不是別人而是自己。——朱德庸
17、你的爱好就是你的方向，你的兴趣就是你的资本，你的性情就是你的命运。
18、人生真理哲言：看你二的人有很多，陪你二的才是朋友.
19、失去的东西，其实从来未曾真正地属于你，也不必惋惜。
20、衡量成功与否的最好标准并不是你挣了多少钱，而是你是否能过上你想过的生活。
21、等待有把握时再去做一件事，很多时候意味着永远的等待。
22、人生真理：容易走的都是下坡路。
23、盲目追赶潮流是对精神和智力的扼杀。
24、如果有人抱怨你太特立独行，恭喜你，你正走在正确的路上。
25、打动人心的最佳方法,是谈他最珍爱的东西。
26、、不要狠命地把门“砰”地关上，因为很可能你还要回来。
27、成熟的最大好处是： 以前得不到的东西，现在不想要了。
28、不要整天抱怨生活欠了你什么，实际上生活不知你是谁。
29、人生最大一种痛，不是失败，而是没有经历自己想要经历的一切。 ——苏芩
30、生中至少要有两次冲动，一次奋不顾身的爱情，一次说走就走的旅行 ！！
31、有时候，上天没有给你想要的，不是因为你不配，而是你值得更好的。
32、锐气藏于胸，和气浮于面，才气见于事，义气施于人..这是人生真理。
33、你所浪费的今天，是昨天死去的人奢望的明天。你所厌恶的现在，是未来的你回不去的曾经。
34、幸福就象一道光，除了让它照在自己身上之外，有时也要让它照在别人身上。——朱德庸
35、如果你的幸福溜走了，我想，那或许不是因为他人野蛮无礼的破门而入，而是你千方百计的窥视门外。——优语录网
36、你所浪费的今天，是昨天死去的人奢望的明天；你所厌恶的现在，是未来的你回不去的曾经。
37、在人生的抉择上永远都会出现两条道路，我们在良知上都会知道该选哪一条，但大部分的我们都会选另一条。——朱德庸
38、遇上困难逆境时，有人会趁机踹你一脚，有人会义无反顾扶你一把。时间会告诉你，谁是真正的朋友。
39、很多人一生花費最多時間做的，就是用盡各種方法去浪費他們的一生。——朱德庸
40、三个方法解决所有问题的方法：接受，改变，放开。不能接受那就改变，不能改变，那就放开……
41、人的上半生要不犹豫；人的下半生要不后悔；活在当下，把握每次的机会，因机会稍纵即逝，为自己的生命找到出路！
42、“梦想=买房”误导了一代年轻人,给了他们错误的奋斗目标（买房）,而错失了做自己真的想做、该做、爱做的事情的机会——李开复
43、“得之我幸，失之我命”永远不要对别人要求太高，因为没有谁有义务一定要帮助你。
44、信什么就会听到什么，怕什么就会想到什么，让我们恐惧的，不是外面的世界，而是我们的内心。
45、从22岁大学毕业在26岁之间这四年，重要的不是你做了什么，重要的是你在工作中养成了怎么样的良好的工作习惯。——李开复
46、生存其实很简单，拒绝堕落就行了；生存其实很简单，有勇气后退就行了；生存其实很简单，不要被成功模式束缚就行了。
47、该说的要说，该哑的要哑，是一种聪明；该干的要干，该退的要退，是一种睿智；该显的要显，该藏的要藏，是一种境界。
48、人生的旅途中，你总有那么一段时间，需要自己走，需要自己扛。不要感觉害怕，不要感觉孤单，这只不过是成长的代价罢了。
49、一个知足的人，就算是一粒微尘的幸福，也像一颗星球那么大；一个貪婪的人，哪怕是一整颗星球的幸福，也仅仅犹如一粒微尘。
50、阳光照不到人的全身，总有光有影，想晒身前时需面对太阳，想晒身后时需转过身来，不要太多埋怨，我们必须努力适应。
2012人生真理哲言（长句）：
51、如果你拥有别人没有的，知道别人不知道的，会做别人不会做的，请准备好：别人都会来批评你。如果想杜绝批评，那你不妨做一个无脑无能无言无为的人。
52、钱财多的回家少，美貌多的穿衣少，想法多的成事少，劳累多的收入少，权力多的时间少，情人多的安宁少，朋友多的困难少，锻炼多的疾病少...
53、人生没有完美，遗憾和残缺始终都会存在，懂得遗憾，就懂了人生。美好的东西太多，我们不可能全都得到！如佛曰：没有遗憾，给你再多幸福也不会体会快乐
54、做人应该像水一样，要有极大的可塑性。因为水性柔而能变形。 水在海洋中是海洋之形，在江河中是江河之形，在杯盘中是杯盘之形，在瓶罐中是瓶罐之形。
55、人生有三种苦闷：第一种：你得不到。第二种：你得到了，却不过如此。第三种：你轻易放弃后才发现，原来它对你很重要。
56、别考验友谊，因为知道了限度，便等于破坏了过去的和谐。考验别人的结果，失望者多。所以考验也是种艺术，适度考验自己，可以发掘潜能，提升限度。
57、一生中遇到的每一个人每一件事都是命运送给你的礼物。只不过有些包装精美，有些包装丑陋。但只要你敢耐心的打开它，总会发现惊喜。
58、多读书养才气，慎言行养清气，重情义养人气，能忍辱养志气，温处事养和气，讲责任养贤气，系苍生养底气，淡名利养正气，不媚俗养骨气，敢作为养浩气，会宽容养大气。
59、人生就是一个选择的过程，每一种选择，同时也意味着放弃。人生的每一步，都是一个十字路口，其实每一条路都没有尽头，因为我们永无回头路可走。
60、小时候，幸福是一个东西，拿到了就会幸福; 长大了，幸福是一个目标，达到了，就会幸福;成熟了，幸福是种心态，领悟了，才能幸福。
61、幸福，就是在平淡中品味出来的幸福。用自己的眼睛发现，用自己的心灵品味。哪一天，能够为一朵不起眼的花开放而微笑，感叹造物者的精妙的时候，那是真的是平淡中的幸福了。
62、一沙一世界,一花一天堂。珍惜你拥有的,忽略你没有的。微小幸福就在身边,不攀比就是天堂。快乐,来源于自我感恩的良好心态。
63、潮涨潮落、波谷波峰，只要能够耐心等待，受得了折磨，守得住底线，一切都会证明，生活不会抛弃你，命运不会舍弃你。
64、有人说，如果你很想要一样东西，就放它走。如果它回来找你，那么它永远是你的。要是它没有回来，那么不用再等了，因为他跟本就不是你的！
65、一杯茶， 佛门看到的是禅，道家看到的是气，儒家看到的是礼。 茶说：我就是一杯水，给你的只是你的想像，你想什么，什么就是什么。
66、无论你遇见谁，他都是对的人；无论发生什么事，那都是唯一会发生的事；不管事情开始于哪个时刻，都是对的时刻；已经结束的，已经结束了。
67、为人在世，一个“笑”字。笑对名誉，不争；笑对邪财，不取；笑对生活，不求；笑对波折，不恼；笑对权贵，不卑；笑对人生，无拘；笑对得失，无忧。
68、女人就像瓷器，有些空的有容貌的当花瓶；有的论出身能成为宝物；有的装了一肚子混水；有的干脆破罐子破摔；有些命途多舛终沦为杯具，而传世的青花瓷自顾自美丽。
69、一个富贵的人，只要有很多烦恼，有很多不尽人意的事，他都不可能真正过得开心。一个平凡生活条件简朴，但心地单纯，关系简单，少欲少求，知足而进取，反而较容易得到幸福。
70、真正的安全感，来自你对自己的信心，是你每个阶段性目标的实现，而真正的归属感，在于你的内心深处，对自己命运的把控，因为你最大的对手永远都是自己。
71、8个好词: 1、忍耐：不是胆怯懦弱。2.、放弃：除了生命，没有什么不能割舍。3、压力：想开了就是天堂。4、豁达：生命本身就是幸福。5、执着：在枯叶凋零的时候等待春天。6、放纵：驾驭自己是一生的功课。7、感恩：懂得回报是可贵的品格。8、释怀：将心事交给清风
72、生活是用来经营的，不是用来计较的；感情是用来维系的，不是用来考验的；爱人是用来疼爱的，不是用来伤害的；金钱是用来享受的，不是用来崇拜的；谎言是用来击破的，不是用来粉饰的；信任是用来沉淀的，不是用来挑战的。
73、生活在别处。你轻易地放弃一份工作，轻易地放弃一段爱情，轻易地放弃一个朋友，莫不是因为这种相信。可惜人要到很久之后才能明白，这世上并不存在传说中的“别处”。你所拥有的，也不过是你手上的这些。而你兜兜转转最终得到的，也不过是你在第一个站台错过的。
74、每个人的人生都是由一连串的必然和一连串的偶然所組成。如果我们能夠珍惜必然的部分，以自己的方式努力去做，把偶然的部分尽量变成美好的經验，那么我们的人生会比较接近幸福。
75、如果一个人有梦想或者很想做成某件事，那必须事先准备一件东西，保温杯。把对梦想，对某件事执着的那份热情永远保温下来。见了火不升温，见了冰不降温，一定要坚持自己平稳的热情...直到成功。
76、活得糊涂的人，容易幸福；活得清醒的人，容易烦恼。------ 这是因为，清醒的人看得太真切，一较真，生活中便烦恼遍地；而糊涂的人，计较得少，虽然活得简单粗糙，却因此觅得了人生的大滋味。
77、人要先学会从众，再学会与众不同；先学会复杂，再学会简单；先学会爱自己，再学会爱别人；先学会爱亲人，再学会爱朋友；先学会怎样生活，再学会体验生活；先学会做人，再学会做官；先要求自己，再要求别人；先学会适应，再学会独立。
78、干不完工作，停一停，放松心情；挣不够的钱财，看一看，身外之物；看不惯的世俗，静一静，顺其自然；生不完的闷气，说一说，心境宽广；接不完的应酬，辞一辞，有利健康；尽不完的孝心，走一走，回家看看；还不完的人情，掂一掂，量力而行；走不完的前程，缓一缓，漫步人生。
79、我们渴望成功，首先要志在成功，要盯着目标向前走，视线不要左右飘忽，心态不易随地转移。要坚信成功不是梦幻，而就在我们脚下延伸，需要我们矢志不移地前行。要深知语言的祝愿很无力，行动才是最好的祈祷。成功的帷幕随时都有可能拉开，就看我们是愿意纵情地舞蹈，还是选择仓皇的逃避。
80、生活总以一种高压的姿态，肆意考验着我们脆弱的神经，让我们叹息或者窒息。这个世界真的很拥挤，我们难以寻找一方精神的栖息地。与其在风雨中逃避，不如在雷电中舞蹈，即便淋得透湿，也是领略生命的快意。不要抱怨与哀叹，不必嫉俗与愤世，只有当心灵坚强了，心头那些洪水才会慢慢退去。
81、当有人说我爱你时，他不一定爱你，只是想得到你。当有人说我懂你时，他不一定懂你，只是想骗你。当有人说养你时，他不一定会养你，只是需要你的柔情。我们的一生，都活在谎言和面具中。所以，别听他说什么，而是看你得到了什么。记住，结果是最好的测谎仪。
82、有粮千担，也是一日三餐；有钱万贯，也是黑白一天；洋房十座，也是睡榻一间； 宝车百乘，也是有愁有烦； 高官厚禄，也是每天上班；妻妾成群，也是一夜之欢；山珍海味，也是一副肚腩；荣华富贵，也是过眼云烟。钱多钱少，够吃就好。人老人少，健康就好。
83、时间本无所谓长短，有了钟表，就有了长短；人生本无所谓苦乐,有了欲望,就有了苦乐.大脑是一个来者不拒的超级大硬盘,天天累加着无穷的信息,还不能格式化.清除大脑的欲望,就如同清除大脑中的时间概念一样难,我们只会越来越累.所以学会给你的硬盘分类,学会删除无用信息,人生才能清晰如初
84、人生箴言：这世上没有无缘无故的爱，也没有无缘无故的恨。不要参与评论任何人，做到心中有数就可以了。所谓盖棺定论的道理很简单，就是有人操之过急。谁也没有理论依据来介定好人与坏人，说白了就是利益关系的问题。
85、人生需要坚守。坚守是一种长久的坚持，是一种对内心精神的守护，是一次次靠近梦想的过程；梦想是生命的翅膀，坚守就是飞翔的高度。在生活中，特别是在这个高速发展的经济时代，有太多的浮华与喧嚣，所以我们应坚守承诺，坚守本性，坚守原则，坚守职责，坚守信念……始终清醒地前行。
86、人生要有目标，而不能只有目的。目标是人生的希望，没有它，人生就会陷入迷茫和困惑；目的是某一时、某一事想要达成的心愿。目标的实现是以目的的达到为基础的，但是如果目的性太强，人生就会减少许多趣味，甚至掩盖了目标的本来面目。实现目的，只是“技”；追求目标，才是“道.
87、其实人和人在肉体上没什么差别，都是一百多斤肉，从生物学的角度上说都是一样的，差别是在灵魂上，你的精神世界有多大，你的视野就有多大，你的事业就有多大。我认为，一个人事业的边界在内心，要想保证你事业的边界不断增长，就必须扩大你心灵的边界，因此，学习是唯一的途径。
88、不要以自己的标准来评价别人，也不要戴着有色眼镜看人。每个人都有自己的喜好和个性以及人生价值，你看不惯的事情，并不是不好。借用一句话：生物的种类逐渐减少，而人的种类再逐渐增多。无论什么人或事物，存在既是合理的。你不必看不惯，要学会用欣赏的目光来看待世界。
89、人生三不争：不与上级争锋，不与同级争宠，不与下级争功。人生三修炼：看得透想得开，拿得起放得下，立得正行得直。人生三福：平安是福，健康是福，吃亏是福。人生三为：和为贵，善为本，诚为先。 人生三不等：孝老，行善，健身。人生三快事：旅游、 挚友、 枕边书！让我们每天超越自己。
90、生活，是用来经营的，而不是用来计较的；感情，是用来维系的，而不是用来考验的；金钱，是用来享受的，而不是用来衡量的；信任，是用来沉淀的，而不是用来挑战的.....
91、生活之中，其实个人的喜恶并不重要。因为你喜的或恶的，未必都能随你心。人与人相处，最重要的是包容。是人，都会有心情，因为心一直跳动着。学会放下一些个人感受，是另外一种幸福。是人，也都会有情绪，学着理解，试着迁就，就是一种洒脱。其实一切烦恼的根源，就是你太迷恋你自己了。
92、当你年轻时，以为什么都有答案，可是老了的时候，你可能又觉得其实人生并没有所谓的答案。每天你都有机会和很多人擦身而过，有些人可能会变成你的朋友，或者是知己所以我从来没有放弃任何跟人磨擦的机会。有时候搞得自己头破血流，管他呢！开心就行了。
93、我们之所以会心累，是因为我们常常徘徊在坚持与放弃之间，举棋不定；我们之所以会烦恼，是因为我们记性太好，该记的，不该记的，都会留在记忆里；我们之所以会痛苦，是因为我们追求的太多；我们之所以不快乐，是因为我们奢望的太多。——并不是我们拥有的太少，而是我们计较的太多。
94、每人都有属于自己的路，路左边是开心，路右边是不开心。而有的人习惯走在左边所以看到的全是开心事，而有的人习惯走在右边所以看到的全是不开心事。当一个人总是不开心时也许把自己放下的位置不对，应该扭头看看路对面，会明白原来与你伴行的不只是不开心，然后改变习惯努力接近开心。
95、生活中的许多苦难，让我们学会了承受，学会了担当，学会了在泪水中挺立自己的灵魂，在坚韧中亮化自己的人格。生活从来都是波澜起伏的，命运从来都是峰回路转的，因为有了曲折和故事，我们的生命才会精彩。有时候，哭泣，不是屈服；后退，不是认输；放手，不是放弃；沉默，不是无话可说。
96、看透的人，处处是生机；看不透的人，处处是困境。拿得起的人，处处是担当；拿不起的人，处处是疏忽。放得下的人，处处是大道；放不下的人，处处是迷途。想得开的人，处处是春天；想不开的人，处处是凋枯。 做什么样的人，决定权在自己；有什么样的生活，决定权也在自己。
97、看一个女人是否自信，看她卸妆以后。看一个男人是否自信，看他失恋以后。看一个男人的品味，要看他的袜子。看一个女人是否养尊处优，要看她的手。看一个人的气血，要看他的头发。看一个人的心术，要看他的眼神。看一个人的身价，要看他的对手。看一个人的底牌，要看他身边好友
98、任何事都没有永远，也别问怎样才能够永远。生活有很多无奈，请尽量去充实你自己，充实属于你的生活。谁都不知道今天过去明天会如何，你现在要做的就是善待眼下的这一分钟、这一小时、这一天。
99、微笑不累，生气才累 ；单纯不累，复杂才累；相思不累，单恋才累； 相守不累，独守才累；相爱不累，相残才累；专情不累，滥情才累；友情不累，私情才累；真诚不累，虚假才累；纳友不累，树敌才累；无私不累，自私才累；得失不累，计较才累；身累不累，心累才累!
100、有时候文凭不过是一张火车票，清华的软卧，本科的硬卧，专科的硬座，民办的站票，成教的在厕所挤着。火车到站，都下车找工作，才发现老板并不太关心你是怎么来的，只关心你会干什么。
2012不是世界末日，但如果当世界末日来临，希望你的人生心态是：我在另一个空间还活着（据说，这是真的)。
Saturday, 4 February 2012
restless, uneasy and uncomfortable
Feeling restless, uneasy and uncomfortable all times in Hong Kong, especially lately. I don't why, I just can't be relaxed, can't focus on my book. Is it because the environment or my current situation? I need a doctor. Sigh.....this is the illness that the doc can't help!!
Sunday, 22 January 2012
Password cleaning
It is the last day in the year according to the Chinese year calendar. Most people do their house cleaning while I decided to do my password cleaning. Over my 10 year plus digital life, I have created countless usernames and passwords that I couldn't remember all of them. I knew I would forget one so i have written them down in a piece of paper in a little book. It's of course not a good idea and safe method but one way to keep it anyway. They are not important stuff but very interesting to remember when I look back here and now. Graffiti.com; websamba.com; geocities.com; the counters; mynedstat.com; bcentral.com; wheretogo; free webpage; chatterbox; ofoto;......etc., these pages have died and disappeared in the fast going internet age. They have played very important roles in the my early digital life especially in the period I develop my personal website over Geocities, which died a few years ago. However, some strong and lucky ones are still existing, Flyordie, Xanga, webshots. etc. Some died but revived again recently like ICQ. They are still under changes.
I checked them and clear some outdated ones, but the leftovers, are still a problem.
I checked them and clear some outdated ones, but the leftovers, are still a problem.
Monday, 16 January 2012
black friday effect
Still feeling so bad today, after 3 days rest already. The energy just doesn't go through my body. It's suck to be sick.
On last black Friday, I sent myself to the Emergency room by terrible stomachache. The pain wasn't that bad that feels like killing you, but you just couldn't focus on anything. I waited only 1 hour to see the on duty doctor and was given a tablet to test if I was suffered from his guessed problem. But I was still in pain after an hour. I was then taken to have more tests. After 2 x-rays and a blood test, I was still in pain for 8 hours, and the course was still unknown.
It will be left unknown forever I guess. I refused to stay in the hospital and was then discharged with some medicines.
The pain is far less than before today, but I still couldn't fully concentrate, feel tired easily, and I guess I look terrible too.
On last black Friday, I sent myself to the Emergency room by terrible stomachache. The pain wasn't that bad that feels like killing you, but you just couldn't focus on anything. I waited only 1 hour to see the on duty doctor and was given a tablet to test if I was suffered from his guessed problem. But I was still in pain after an hour. I was then taken to have more tests. After 2 x-rays and a blood test, I was still in pain for 8 hours, and the course was still unknown.
It will be left unknown forever I guess. I refused to stay in the hospital and was then discharged with some medicines.
The pain is far less than before today, but I still couldn't fully concentrate, feel tired easily, and I guess I look terrible too.
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
Your life can really be affected by your neighbour
It's so hard get a good night sleep in my current home in Hong Kong. My disgusting and sick neighbour makes noise every mid-night, sometimes at 1am sometimes a little bit later, most of times are at those hours that people desperately need to be falling in sleep. It is so worse that even when I am almost falling in sleep I am scared that I might be wake up by the noise soon. I put my earplugs on every night already but the sound can go through the windows at night easily. So I sleep more hours than usual but still feel tired everyday. This is such a awkwardly sick feeling and situation that nobody gonna understand me in a faintest way. This might be a subtle thing in our everyday life but those who have experience would how bad and serious that could cause to somebody's well-being. But if you are not the suffering person you wouldn't know how bag it feels and how desperate it is to be not understand by people around you.
It's been more than 3 years already. It's nobody's trouble so in nobody's care. I knew deep down that's one of the reasons why i tried to escape from this home. I am reluctant to change without a human being's understanding and help. So I guess I reacted by human instant and nature, I leave. Hoping that the problem might change through time but it didn't.
It's been more than 3 years already. It's nobody's trouble so in nobody's care. I knew deep down that's one of the reasons why i tried to escape from this home. I am reluctant to change without a human being's understanding and help. So I guess I reacted by human instant and nature, I leave. Hoping that the problem might change through time but it didn't.
Friday, 6 January 2012
Check with yourself before you die
[双语]临死前敢不敢对自己说出这10句话？
原文地址：http://9840.cn/xueyingyu/316,461.html
原文地址：http://9840.cn/xueyingyu/316,461.html
1.I followed my heart and intuition.
我听从了我的内心，跟随了我的直觉。
This is your life, and it’s a short one. Don’t accept false choices. Don’t let others put a cage around you. Try what you want to try. Go where you want to go. Follow your own intuition.
这是你的人生，人生苦短。不要接受不是你真心的选择，别让其他人把你困在牢笼里。想做什么就做什么，想去哪儿就去哪儿。跟着你的感觉走。
2.I said what I needed to say.
我说了该说的。
You must say what you need to say when you need to say it. It may be your only chance to do so. Don’t censor yourself. Speak the truth. Your truth.
你应该在适当的时刻说出你该说的话，这是你唯一的机会。别压抑自己，说出事实，你认为的事实。
3.I did what I needed to do.
我做了该做的。
The greatest gift extraordinarily successful people have over average people is their ability to get themselves to take action – to physically do something about getting from where they are now to where they want to be. And no, it won’t be easy. But in the end, suffering from the pain of discipline while you do what you need to do is a whole lot easier than suffering from the regret and disappointment of never fulfilling any of your dreams.
非常成功的人优于普通人最大的天赋在于他们敢于采取行动，真正做一些事，改变现在的自己，向梦想的未来进发。这个过程并不容易。就算到最后，你因为做了该做的事情而受到惩罚和伤害，那也比从未实现梦想的悔恨和失望带来的伤痛要小得多。
4.I made a difference.
我影响了别人。
In life, you get what you put in. When you make a positive impact in someone else’s life, you also make a positive impact in your own life. Do something that’s greater than you – something that helps someone else to be happy or to suffer less. Doing something nice for someone can change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world.
生活就是这样，你付出了会得到回报。当你为别人的生活带来了积极的影响，你也同样也是在积极影响你自己的生活。为别人做点事儿，做点让他们快乐或者少受点苦的事儿。与人为善，可以改变世界，可能不是全世界，但是至少能改变他们的世界。
5. I know what true love is.
我了解什么是真爱。
Relationships must be chosen wisely. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason.
选择感情的时候要明智，别着急。如果一段感情是命中注定，那么它总归会发生：在对的时间，跟对的人，有最好的理由。
Love is beautiful and unpredictable. The best thing you can do is to start to become the most outstanding person possible. The universe will know when you are ready, and when you are, true love will happen, unexpectedly.
爱情很美，却也无法预知，所以你能做的最好的事就是开始尽力让自己成为最棒的那个人。等你做好准备，上帝会知道，到时候，真爱总会不期而遇。
6. I am happy and grateful.
我很幸福，很感恩。
Very little is needed to create happiness. It is all within you, in your way of thinking.
幸福不是靠创造的，幸福一直在你的身边，跟你的思维方式息息相关。
A big part of this is simply being grateful for what you have. Look around. Appreciate the things you have right now. Many people aren’t so lucky.
幸福里的很重要一部分，是对你现在所拥有的怀着一颗感恩之心。看看周围，享受此刻所拥有的一切。许多人都没你这么幸运。
7.I am proud of myself.
我为自己感到骄傲。
You are your own best friend and your own biggest critic. Being proud of yourself is also known as having strong self-esteem. Being proud isn’t bragging about how great you are. It’s more like quietly knowing that you’re worth a lot. Acknowledge your positive qualities, and when you come across a quality in yourself that you aren’t proud of, don’t sulk in your sorrows, proactively work on correcting it.
你是你自己最好的朋友也是最大的批评者，为自己感到骄傲，是要有强烈的自尊心，而不是自吹自擂炫耀自己有多伟大。其实更像是内心暗暗了解自己的价值。承认自己正面的品质，要是发现身上有你并不觉得自豪的某种品质，也别难过，主动改正就好。
8.I became the best version of me.
我成为了最好的自己。
Remember, at any given moment, you are in competition with one person and one person only – yourself. You are competing to be the best you can be.
要记住，在任何时候，你的竞争对手有且只有一个，那就是你自己。和自己比赛，努力成为最好的自己。
9.I forgave those who hurt me.
我原谅了那些伤害过我的人。
Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you.
怨恨的情绪是在浪费你的幸福。宽恕是释放心灵的囚犯，而那个被困的人就是你自己。
10. I have no regrets.
我不后悔。
Follow your heart. Be true to yourself. Do what you need to do fulfill your dreams. Say what you need to say. Be kind to others. Offer a helping hand when you’re able. Love those who deserve to be loved, and cherish the bond you share. Appreciate all the things you do have. Smile. Celebrate your small victories. Learn from your mistakes. Forgive. And let go of the things you can’t change.
听从自己内心的呼声；做真实的自己；做你该做的事情去完成你的梦想；说你该说的话；与人为善；别人需要你的帮助的时候伸出援手；爱那些值得你爱的人，珍惜你们之间的约定；享受现在所拥有的一切；庆祝自己的小小胜利；从错误中吸取教训；宽恕；放手那些你无力改变的事实。
我听从了我的内心，跟随了我的直觉。
This is your life, and it’s a short one. Don’t accept false choices. Don’t let others put a cage around you. Try what you want to try. Go where you want to go. Follow your own intuition.
这是你的人生，人生苦短。不要接受不是你真心的选择，别让其他人把你困在牢笼里。想做什么就做什么，想去哪儿就去哪儿。跟着你的感觉走。
2.I said what I needed to say.
我说了该说的。
You must say what you need to say when you need to say it. It may be your only chance to do so. Don’t censor yourself. Speak the truth. Your truth.
你应该在适当的时刻说出你该说的话，这是你唯一的机会。别压抑自己，说出事实，你认为的事实。
3.I did what I needed to do.
我做了该做的。
The greatest gift extraordinarily successful people have over average people is their ability to get themselves to take action – to physically do something about getting from where they are now to where they want to be. And no, it won’t be easy. But in the end, suffering from the pain of discipline while you do what you need to do is a whole lot easier than suffering from the regret and disappointment of never fulfilling any of your dreams.
非常成功的人优于普通人最大的天赋在于他们敢于采取行动，真正做一些事，改变现在的自己，向梦想的未来进发。这个过程并不容易。就算到最后，你因为做了该做的事情而受到惩罚和伤害，那也比从未实现梦想的悔恨和失望带来的伤痛要小得多。
4.I made a difference.
我影响了别人。
In life, you get what you put in. When you make a positive impact in someone else’s life, you also make a positive impact in your own life. Do something that’s greater than you – something that helps someone else to be happy or to suffer less. Doing something nice for someone can change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world.
生活就是这样，你付出了会得到回报。当你为别人的生活带来了积极的影响，你也同样也是在积极影响你自己的生活。为别人做点事儿，做点让他们快乐或者少受点苦的事儿。与人为善，可以改变世界，可能不是全世界，但是至少能改变他们的世界。
5. I know what true love is.
我了解什么是真爱。
Relationships must be chosen wisely. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason.
选择感情的时候要明智，别着急。如果一段感情是命中注定，那么它总归会发生：在对的时间，跟对的人，有最好的理由。
Love is beautiful and unpredictable. The best thing you can do is to start to become the most outstanding person possible. The universe will know when you are ready, and when you are, true love will happen, unexpectedly.
爱情很美，却也无法预知，所以你能做的最好的事就是开始尽力让自己成为最棒的那个人。等你做好准备，上帝会知道，到时候，真爱总会不期而遇。
6. I am happy and grateful.
我很幸福，很感恩。
Very little is needed to create happiness. It is all within you, in your way of thinking.
幸福不是靠创造的，幸福一直在你的身边，跟你的思维方式息息相关。
A big part of this is simply being grateful for what you have. Look around. Appreciate the things you have right now. Many people aren’t so lucky.
幸福里的很重要一部分，是对你现在所拥有的怀着一颗感恩之心。看看周围，享受此刻所拥有的一切。许多人都没你这么幸运。
7.I am proud of myself.
我为自己感到骄傲。
You are your own best friend and your own biggest critic. Being proud of yourself is also known as having strong self-esteem. Being proud isn’t bragging about how great you are. It’s more like quietly knowing that you’re worth a lot. Acknowledge your positive qualities, and when you come across a quality in yourself that you aren’t proud of, don’t sulk in your sorrows, proactively work on correcting it.
你是你自己最好的朋友也是最大的批评者，为自己感到骄傲，是要有强烈的自尊心，而不是自吹自擂炫耀自己有多伟大。其实更像是内心暗暗了解自己的价值。承认自己正面的品质，要是发现身上有你并不觉得自豪的某种品质，也别难过，主动改正就好。
8.I became the best version of me.
我成为了最好的自己。
Remember, at any given moment, you are in competition with one person and one person only – yourself. You are competing to be the best you can be.
要记住，在任何时候，你的竞争对手有且只有一个，那就是你自己。和自己比赛，努力成为最好的自己。
9.I forgave those who hurt me.
我原谅了那些伤害过我的人。
Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you.
怨恨的情绪是在浪费你的幸福。宽恕是释放心灵的囚犯，而那个被困的人就是你自己。
10. I have no regrets.
我不后悔。
Follow your heart. Be true to yourself. Do what you need to do fulfill your dreams. Say what you need to say. Be kind to others. Offer a helping hand when you’re able. Love those who deserve to be loved, and cherish the bond you share. Appreciate all the things you do have. Smile. Celebrate your small victories. Learn from your mistakes. Forgive. And let go of the things you can’t change.
听从自己内心的呼声；做真实的自己；做你该做的事情去完成你的梦想；说你该说的话；与人为善；别人需要你的帮助的时候伸出援手；爱那些值得你爱的人，珍惜你们之间的约定；享受现在所拥有的一切；庆祝自己的小小胜利；从错误中吸取教训；宽恕；放手那些你无力改变的事实。
Wednesday, 4 January 2012
Plan
I am never a person who plans for their life properly. I have learned to fly, but forgotten to learn how to land.
I just learned that those who around me are really good at planning via our conversations last night. I am probably the one who cares the least about my own life in the future. I guess everybody plans, just not everyone is a good planner.
Monday, 2 January 2012
reviewing 2011
TV programs have already been reviewing big international events over the last year today. Thinking back, 2011 was really a hard year, not only on the worldwide scale, but also on my personal dimension. I went from southern hemisphere to Beijing, SiChun, Tibet, ctc., back to Hong Kong; from a status of hope to a situation of nothing in my hands; from a backpacker back to a Hongkonger; so much so. On the global standard, Japan's huge earthquake and Tsunami, and thanks for the advanced technology, we are able to see so many dreadful scenes live via television. And of course the never ending aftermath of the nuclear crisis in Fukushima Daiichi is even more frightening. The rise and fall of international leaders, such as Gaddafi and Kim Jong I, is changing the world power balance in a silence way. As the Americans got nothing to do in the middle east, they will surely aim at the Asia Pacific region this year onward.
So many things have happened and changed in time.
So many things have happened and changed in time.
Sunday, 1 January 2012
01-01-2011
This is the first day of 2011. I didn't do much last night, counting down is no longer the act of my age. I chose to sleep early instead and it was a good last night. I knew I have repleted several times here already that a good night sleep is sometimes all I want for a day in my life, I am that grateful that I had it last night.
2011 is finally came and arrived. I wonder if I can go through it........let's see
2011 is finally came and arrived. I wonder if I can go through it........let's see
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)